A few weeks ago, I woke up at 6:30am with my heart racing. This had been happening for several days now, no matter what time I went to sleep, no matter how many reiki treatments and meditation sessions and cups of chamomile tea I self-administered before bed. Sometimes I woke up out of bad dreams, and sometimes there was no dream, just a blank, wrenching bottomlessness. Anxiety. It’s a motherf*cker.
Some of the anxiety was stemming from this being the most stressful professional period of my life (I’ll be able to share more about that soon—all good, I promise), and some from the things I generally spend time worrying about. The bills, the deadlines, the heartaches, the misunderstandings, The Longing™. How consumed we are by the things we do not have.
But that morning, something was different. I’d had a distinct dream, and I knew—I knew exactly what was at the root of this unease that had recently colonized my resting life. Lying in the dark, hands on my belly and my heart, I realized that, at its core, this swirling anxiety was really a fear of not truly taking care of myself.
I was worried that, when it mattered most—when I needed to erect a strong boundary and say no to the things that were not respecting me—I wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t for fear of there being some fundamental, definitive lack in the universe—a lack of enough love, enough money, enough whatever it might be that I thought I needed to grovel for. That I thought necessitated my accepting anything less than the utmost yes.
And so, then and there, I recommitted. To take care of myself, fiercely. To keep myself, my heart, safe. I breathed in all the power I could summon from and I vowed to care of myself. (Dare we say I married myself?)
And then I got up, went to the kitchen, and made a big old bowl of this miso broccoli soup, infused with toasted sesame oil and onion and coriander. Miso’s sweetness blends seamlessly with broccoli and mellows the onion, and provides a hearty boost of probiotic cultures for immune and digestive health. It’s perfect over rice, and super yum with a crunchy coconut oil roasted sesame chive cashew topping.
Care for yourselves, tender loves. Your heart is magnificent. Speaking of, what’s your favorite self-care ritual? Tell me in comments below. I want to learn from your ways.
Get the recipe on this week’s Intuitive Eating with Kale & Caramel on Sonima.
MISO BROCCOLI SOUP BOWLS WITH SESAME CHIVE CASHEWS.
Ingredients
Miso Broccoli Soup
- 1 large onion
- 2 cups pure water or vegetable stock for steaming
- 4 cups broccoli florets (from 2 large heads broccoli stalks reserved)
- 3 tablespoons miso
- 2 tablespoons coconut oil
- 2 teaspoons nutritional yeast
- 1 teaspoon ume plum vinegar or red wine vinegar + few pinches sea salt + dash of agave
- 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
- 1/2 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
Sesame Chive Cashews
- 3/4 teaspoon melted raw coconut oil melted
- 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
- 1 dash ume plum vinegar or red wine vinegar + pinch of sea salt + dash of agave
- 1 dash cayenne pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon minced chives
- 1/3 cup cashews
- 2 teaspoons sesame seeds
Soup Bowl Fixings
- 3 cups cooked rice of choice about 3/4 cup per serving
- 1/3 cup finely chopped peeled broccoli stalks
- 2 tablespoons minced chives
- toasted sesame oil to taste
Instructions
- Peel, trim, and roughly chop onion.
- Place metal steamer in a large stockpot and fill with water or vegetable stock to just below steamer base (about 2 cups). Cover, turn heat to high, and bring to a boil. Add onion and replace lid. Steam until onion is tender and beginning to be transparent, about 5 minutes. Add broccoli florets and cover again. Steam about 4 minutes, until broccoli is just tender and bright green.
- Remove from heat, and transfer onion and broccoli to high speed blender, leaving 1 cup of steamed broccoli out to blend in later for added texture. To blender, add 2 cups of steam water or stock, miso, coconut oil, nutritional yeast, ume plum vinegar, sea salt, ground coriander, and toasted sesame oil. Blend until completely smooth. Taste and adjust salt as desired. Add remaining 1 cup steamed broccoli and blend until desired texture is reached. Return to pot and cover to keep warm.
- Preheat oven or toaster oven to 400º. In a small bowl, whisk coconut oil, soy sauce, ume plum vinegar, cayenne pepper, and chives. Add cashews and sesame seeds and stir to coat completely. Transfer to small baking sheet and spread in an even layer. Roast for 3-4 minutes, or until golden brown.
- Prepare soup bowls with cooked rice, miso broccoli soup, sesame chive cashews, chopped peeled broccoli stalks, minced chives, and toasted sesame oil, to taste.
